Cuomo Says More Aides Would Have Helped In Nursing Home Scandal

Albany, NY-  Governor Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) has been under the microscope especially heavily lately for not just one, but two egregious miscarriages of justice in his home state of New York.

In his most recent debacle with national notoriety, Cuomo sits centered squarely in the middle of accused scandalous relationships with office interns, and a significant death toll in nursing homes he could he not only could have stopped, but actively had hands in contributing to.

Over 9,000 patients were moved from crammed hospitals to surrounding nursing homes during the early height of the pandemic, causing infectious outbreaks across the state and risking the immunocompromised elderly.

“As you can see, things have been steadily on the decline in terms of mishaps and whatnot”, Cuomo states, stumbling to gather his travel-package projector and slide set for presentations he is now only allowed to give out of his two-car garage.

“Quite honestly if we just had a little more support on the judicial side and “on the street” front, we could have had even more success with the program,” he says as he hurriedly brushes off two college-aged girls sitting in a “human-chair” formation for Cuomo.

But restaurants are opening back up, shows are returning. “Try the veal. It’s the best in the city…”

And despite it all, we’ll keep employing self-serving politicians of this caliber until we too, can find the metaphorical gun in the bathroom.