Manager Thinks If You Just Work A Little Harder And Cut That Second Break, You’ll Definitely Maybe Get That Promotion

SPRINGFIELD, OH- Local supply office manager seems to think you’re a shoe-in for that promotion next month, just add a few extra hours to your schedule every day and skip those inefficient lunch breaks. “Mr. Harding wants to see you in his office about that passing comment you made about unionizing to a co-worker last week.”

“We know you’ve been here six months and already killed yourself more than anyone above you ever would. Who needs a family or work-life balance when you’re crushing these soulless logistics? Shipping receipts are your family now.”

“You’ve been doing a great job up until this point (sorry again your child died of neglect, because your girlfriend who you couldn’t afford to marry has to work an equally shit job just to keep the roof over your heads.”

“We get it, it’s not like it used to be. You used to be able to be a blue-collar, ingrate asshole with no goals of self-improvement, and that was plenty to feed a family of four. All Al Bundy needed was his shoe salesman job at the mall. But times change, circumstances change- be happy minimum wage has crawled what it has to keep up with the skyrocketing costs of everything, forget basic living necessities.”

“But we promise we’ll consider giving you that $0.50 a week raise, all you have to do is sign this paperwork saying you abstain from lunch breaks and your daily hours will be increased to 9am-9pm, 6 days a week. Think of all the extra bank the government’ll be making! We’ll climb out of this debt hole in no time.”