Darius Rucker Sick and Tired of Being Confused With Aaron Lewis At Country Shows

JACKSON, MI- Darius Rucker just got off stage for yet another stellar performance of otherwise mediocrely written country songs. It’s been eight years since his stint as the one and only “Hootie”, moments he looks back to fondly if not for how much more he enjoyed playing the music. “It’s a shame things had to go this route. But a man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do…y’know, to feed his family and all.”

Times have been tough on the ol’ Hoot crew. With the novelty of being a large-scale semi-cheese 90’s alt-rock band only seeming to last for so long… “Eventually you’ve gotta star jumping the proverbial shark. Again, and again, and again and again.” says Rucker.

He makes it a point to hang out at merch as soon as possible after the set; meeting fans, shaking hands, and signing autographs. But a fan rolls up in a Stain’d T-Shirt screaming, “Aaron! Aaron! You wrote some of my favorite songs. I’ll never forget “Outside”, it really got me through some rough times man!”

“No!” he defies adamently. “ I’m the Only Wanna Be With You black guy, the Time black guy, the Hold My Hand and Let Her Cry black guy!!!” he screams vengefully. “That m*therf*cker ain’t had but maybe one memorable track in his whole damn career. Go ahead, name another after It’s Been Awhile, I’ll wait!”

Sadly, instances like these have become a common occurrence for the previously multi-platinum selling singer. “It’s just something that comes with the territory I guess,” he resignedly states.

Aaron Lewis could not be reached for comment.