Slash Blames Fender Bender & DUI Test Refusal on Late Perm Appointment

SANTA MONICA, CA- Saul Hudson, a.k.a “Slash” of Guns ‘n Roses and Velvet Revolver fame, was almost taken into custody early last Friday evening after declining a drug and alcohol test when caught speeding down Santa Monica Boulevard. The speed and reckless driving were supposedly caused by “this chick’s totally poor lack of planning, that stressed me out and made me speed, and totally got these sweet uncut curls in my eyes on the way.”

Though the officers were certain something else was at play here for such erratic behavior overall; he at one point attempted to prove his sobriety by ashing his cigarette out slowly on his tongue, with an almost Jim Morrison like daze to his demeanor.

“Sure it was still light out, and sure his interior smelled of JD, old smokes and coke sweat. But he’s SLASH. Who are we to not give him the benefit of the doubt?” interviewed Officers Randy and Mulligan.

Though luckily he ended up being released with a warning, the officers made sure to remind him not to light that hash joint until after he got back on the highway. “That’s cool,” he stutteringly replied, “I’ve probably got a studio session or something else anyway. Oh wait, I have a hair appointment, haha.”

As our camera’s cut to the horizon, we hear our friendly local officers citing our unique national mantra, “And that’s just how it is. America baby. Land of the free.”

A parked car he is accused of hit-and-running is still pending an investigation.